The Desire to Beat Others

"A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others." ~Ayn Rand

When I read this quote, I thought about my current situation at work...a very frustrating, demoralizing situation. I'm working on a project which could help connect people throughout our organization. And during this time of economic hardship, that would be a good thing for their morale and spirit...to know they are valued and appreciated.

Sounds great, doesn't it? But here's the catch, there are some people in the organization that are so territorial that the project may be at risk. Why? They refuse to let go of the control just a little. They desperately want their way to be the right way...the only way. But it hasn't worked in the past so we're trying something new. Unfortunately, their identity is defined by their work, and they believe that they and only they know what's best for the project. They are holding on so tightly that the organization is being stifled and silenced. "This is how it's done," they would say to me.

Has this every happened to you? You work on a "team" where you all have the same goal. You all are moving in the same direction, but someone doesn't want to loosen their grip to try something new. Doesn't want to loosen their grip to make room for a different perspective. They feel they need to win at all costs...even at the cost of the greater team or project.

So what do you do? I realized that my ego was hurt. "Don't they trust me," I said to myself. "Do they not have confidence or faith in my abilities?" I became angry and stubborn. So I decided to turn the quote on me and asked myself, "Am I motivated by the desire to achieve, or am I motivated by the desire to beat others?" Was I mirroring their behavior? Has it, now, become a tug-o-war?

I have decided to let go...a little. I'm not perfect. This is extremely difficult for me, but I've decided to loosen my grip in hopes they will reciprocate. Because if we don't stop the tug-o-war, the project will be torn. The project is much too important. I have no idea how it will turn out so if anyone has any advice or thoughts...any words of encouragement, please share.

Enjoy your journey...

Reflecting the Light

"There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it." ~Edith Wharton

Some feel that they need to be the candle...the Dalai Lama or Buddha or Jesus or any other well-know spiritual teacher to inspire others. When in actuality, anyone and everyone can inspire, teach and lead. Whether you are the source of the teachings or sharing the teachings of others, you have the capability to move, inspire and empower people to live more authentically. All you need is the desire to serve; the willingness to share; and the ability to love and learn.

Can you imagine a world where everyone is spreading light? A world where the light overcomes the darkness? A world where only positive energy is shared? It can happen if we make the active choice to spread goodness and passion.

Sharing inspirational quotes, teachings and writings are all great examples of inspiring others. What other things can we do to "reflect the light"?

Enjoy your journey...

Winning the Rat Race

"The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat." ~Lily Tomlin

We are trying to get ahead. We are trying to be the best. We are trying to win. But at what cost? We race through life for what...for the bonuses, the promotions? And in the end, does it really matter? Some people work 80 plus hours a week so they can retire early. Retire early to spend time with their families and follow their bliss. Why wait? Is it possible to give-up the rat race? To work fewer hours and spend that time with our families, now?

Many people create their identity through work. All they know is the rat race. If they quit it, they lose themselves and their value. And the sad fact is many don't even enjoy their work. Some even compromise their integrity and principles to win...at a job they dislike. Is it worth it? Is it worth compromising your goodness, your humanity just to get ahead...to get to that piece of cheese first.

What if our goal in life wasn't to win but to love, to laugh, to serve? It doesn't matter what we do. What matters is how we do it...how we live. So let's all abandon the race for our piece of cheese. And let's strive to achieve our peace of mind.

Enjoy your journey...

Seeing Life As We Are

"We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are." ~Anaïs Nin

Mmmm, what do you think? Does this quote ring true? I believe we all process and react to the world through our unique, personal lens. Our "lens" was created from a lifetime of learning, laughter, mistakes, and heartache. It may be hard to believe, but we judge everything we touch, taste, hear, smell and see. And our judgement is based on our past experiences...good and bad. Some spiritual teachers say that one of the keys to leading a blissful life is realizing that our criticism or praise of something or someone is a reflection of ourselves...not a reflection of the thing or person.

So I wonder if there is anyone out there who can actually view the world without a personal lens. Unfiltered. Neutral. Pure. They process experiences and events as neither right or wrong...just as is. No excuses. No judgement. Is it possible to accept everything in the moment just as it is?

Let's try it. Think about that one person who irritates you...drives you crazy. Now, what does your impression of this person say about you? Or better yet, the next time you are in a challenging situation, take a deep breath and remove all judgement. The situation is not good, bad, right or wrong...it just is.

As they say, "it is what it is."

Enjoy your journey...

It Is Our Choices

"It is not our abilities that show what we truly are…it is our choices." ~Albus Dumbledore

I'm not a die hard Harry Potter fan, but I love this quote. When I first heard it, I had to rewind the movie. Something about it really hit home. We are all born with different abilities, skills, and talents, but it's our choices in life that define our character. So just because we may be good at something, doesn't necessarily make us a person of good character.

The modern day celebrity comes to mind...amazing men and women of artistic or athletic talent revered in our society as the modern day hero. But what makes them worthy of our admiration? The number of times they find the endzone? The number of times they win a Grammy? The number of times they give to those less fortunate? Do we as a society value talent over character?

The news is filled with celebrities who have made bad choices, and yet we still idolize them. I'm not saying all celebrities are without character. I'm suggesting we should let their choices on and off the court, field, stage and screen tell us. When gifted, talented people show us who they truly are, why do we refuse to see it...accept it? Do we not have better role models and heros in our communities?

Maybe we should celebrate people of character. Maybe we should re-evaluate our definition of celebrity.

Enjoy your journey...

Burying the Truth

"Easter says you can put truth in a grave, but it won't stay there." ~Clarence W. Hall

When I did a Google search for Clarence W. Hall, I wasn't able to find any information except for a few books he wrote. If anyone knows more about him, please comment below. And even though I don't know Clarence W. Hall, I was struck by his quote implying that you can't "bury" truth. Hall obviously speaks from the Christian faith that the Resurrection of Jesus Christ equals the resurrection of truth, but it doesn't matter which religion we follow, he's on to something. It doesn't matter how much we may want to...we can't enshroud truth.

I interpret that as we can't hide from the goodness...the love...the compassion in each one of us. No matter how dire our situation may seem, our heart is always present.

Happy Easter!

Enjoy your journey...

The Power of Thought

"Whether you think you can or think you can’t...you are right." --Henry Ford

Ahhh, the power of positive thinking...or the power of negative thinking for that matter. The universe doesn't recognize our thoughts as postive or negative. The universe only receives the energy radiating from our thoughts and attitudes and then responds in kind...good or bad. Remember the saying, "I'll believe it when I see it"? Well, Wayne Dyer turned this statement upside down when he wrote a book entitled, You'll See It When You Believe It. Basically, the book speaks about the power of our thoughts and our intention, and how what we visualize can actually materialize. Visualization exercises do work if you sincerely believe.

For example, do you know someone who complains about everything in their life...their job, their finances, their relationships...carrying around the "victim" attitude? Isn't it funny how their luck never changes? It's because they continually dwell on the belief that they are a victim so the universe answers. On the flip side, do you know someone who is completely immersed in the attitude of gratitude? They are grateful for everything in their life...the good, the bad and the ugly. It seems they are the luckiest person in the world, because the universe delivers. What we think about becomes our reality whether we like it or not.

So I guess the question is what are you thinking right now?

Enjoy your journey...

Learn to Truly Live

"Learn to die and you shall live, for there shall be none who learn to truly live who have not learned to die." --Buddha

I heard the whole town of Clinton, Oklahoma has challenged themselves to live one month as if it were their last. Their challenge comes from the book, One Month to Live by Kerry and Chris Shook. If this challenge helps one person lead a more compassionate life, then the challenge will be a success. Yet the fact remains, these people do not have only one month to live. They, hopefully, will lead long, healthy lives. So I can't help but wonder, how impactful can this experiment be when you know you have an out?

We live in a society that struggles with the concept of death. We spend millions of dollars on beauty products and plastic surgery in hopes of reversing the aging process. Because we've learned that once we are old, society will tuck us away hiding any reminders of death...out of sight...out of mind. But what if instead of running away from our mortality, we embraced it? What if we embraced our death as a vital part of our life? Rationally, we all know that we are going to die, but do we accept it? Do we accept that our time on this earth is finite? If so, then why spend our precious time on things we don't enjoy or love? Why spend our precious energy on anger or hatred?

I haven't read One Month to Live so I can't speak to it, but I have read the Tibetean Book of Living and Dying by Sogyal Rinpoche. And I encourage anyone who is interested in learning how our acceptance of death can lead to a more meaningful life to give it a try. Also, my challenge...instead of living one month as if it were our last, I urge all of us to volunteer a little time at a hospice or nursing home. Let's embrace the dying with compassion and stop hiding them away from society.

Enjoy your journey...

Happy April Fool's Day

"Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet." --African Proverb

Today, I wanted to find a quote that represented the "fool" in all of us. To my surprise, there was no shortage of "fool" quotes, but this one seemed to jump out at me (no pun intended). I believe we can all relate to it in some way.

Have you ever "leapt before you looked" so to speak? It's easy to do when you are overly eager and excited...when you are full of expectations. Maybe in some circumstances, it is appropriate to jump right in, but in most instances, it is better to slow down; take a deep breath; and examine the entire situation. What is the root cause? What is the best course of action? What are the intended and possibly unintended consequences? We are a culture of linear thinkers...rarely do we approach a situation from a whole systems perspective.

What is systems thinking? I can write an entire blog entry on that subject alone, but basically, it is a holistic approach to problem solving...thinking in terms of the entire system and not in terms of the indivdual components. So with that in mind, our actions and reactions have an impact on more than we may realize or even expect.

So on this All Fool's Day, try to first dip your toe in to see how deep the water is, or you may end up not only in the deep end but in hot water as well.

Enjoy your journey...